Everyone who knows me well knows that I enjoy singing. I am in three choirs-the large choir at church, the motet choir at church (usually consists of 8-12 people) and the Lutheran A Cappella Choir of Milwaukee. Also, if you know me even better, you might know that I suffer from severe stage fright. This means that it took me a long time (and I mean long-probably about 3 years) before I didn't shake with terror every time the motet choir sang in front of church. I even get nervous still when I go to communion. It's bad. Because of this crippling fear, it took me a long time to even get the nerve to audition for LAC, but in the end I did and made it. At that moment, that was the bravest I'd ever been in my life (pathetic, I know).
So this year, LAC is performing at Trees of Hope, a fundraiser for the Leukemia-Lymphoma Society (http://treesofhopewi.org/get-involved/events/). Our choir director asked if a few small groups would get together to perform a few songs as well as the choir performing as a group. I was asked by another choir member to be in their quartet! I was so honored with the request (apparently when the guy was trying to decide who to ask, a few choir members suggested he ask me) that I said yes. Once I got over the excitement of being so singled out, I realized what grave danger I was in. I had just agreed to sing with only three other people in front of hundreds of strangers...cue heart attack.
Tonight our quartet practiced for the first time while the rest of the choir was moseying in and surprisingly I was quite confident singing and did not feel nervous. As soon as I just focused on the music and saw that a)it was easy so at least I knew the chances of me messing up were slim and b)I was at least not singing by myself, the fear melted away. I got caught up in the joy of the song and just sang it like I was singing in church. I even got the added confidence of the director saying it sounded really good and it was just our first time through sight reading!
Anyway, I know this may seem foolish and petty to some of my friends who perform music and act in plays all the time, but for me, this was a huge step. I really thought I would crumble under pressure and instead I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Now, let's hope the same remains true when we sing it in front of strangers on November 18th!
What I learned: I am capable of singing in a small group in front of people.
Yea! Way to go! :) I quit a quartet for Solo-Ensemble in high school after quite a few practices because I was too terrified (and that was after insisting I sing the soprano line, even though it was too high for me, simply because I knew the melody and wasn't confident enough to sing anything but melody.) I'm impressed, even if no one else is. :)
ReplyDelete